November 11, 2010

Filed under: Uncategorized — by AmiraAK @ 1:15 am

I used to be an avid fan–atic of everything Lloyd Weber.  I used to breathe, dream, eat, sleep Phantom of the Opera.. Sarah Brightman was the best singer of all time, musicals were the only thing I listened to, and I knew them all.. though I hadn’t seen ¾ of the musicals I listened to, I knew the lyrics to all the songs and the names of the characters and the singers and where they were playing… I could hear them breathing, I knew the pauses in their songs, I could imagine the stage, I practically lived in the musicals and was a part of them.

I don’t know if I outgrew them, or I did everything in my power to avoid them, but I have tried to keep away from Phantom of the Opera for years now.. maybe because it is closely associated with my ex.  And since my ex and I split up I don’t go down that musical path.. and it’s been Phantom, Andrew Lloyd Weber and all the musicals associated with him and that ‘era’.

Now with my friends going to watch it, talking about it and sharing lines from the songs, I find myself drawn to You Tube, listening to the songs, watching videos of Sarah Brightman, Glenn Close, Michael Ball, stolen excerpts from the musicals, clips from the Royal Albert Hall celebration of Andrew Lloyd Weber’s 50th birthday…  it’s a journey that takes me back 15 years… not just 15 years back.. it starts 15 years ago and progresses every year.. remembering what and who introduced me to the Phantom, and then step by step, learning about other musicals, buying CDs and videos myself, or asking people to get them for me, finding an album at a flea market, or stumbling upon one in the strangest of places, and the bittersweet memories of recognizing, discovering, singing, learning, travelling to watch the shows, learning the lyrics of every song, listening to them over and over and over again.. my own love developing with each new musical and each new song I hear of and listen to and learn…

All the money and time and effort I invested in my collection, my memories…

And then.. a disappointment in the rendering of the film of the Phantom.. and a disappointment in my first, and maybe only, love.. it all stopped.

And now the coals that had died down are rekindling again and I’m not sure I’m happy with that feeling..



  1. it’s harsh when your favorite songs remind you of someone who’s no longer there, especially an ex!

    i am actually grateful that the ex-husband and i barely shared a music taste, so all the songs we listened to together were more of a compromise, not things i’d like listening to on my own…

    but there are songs that remind me of people for whom i had a soft spot, and how i feel as i listen to those songs depends on the memory those people left me with… i make it worse by adjusting my ringtones for people according to the songs with which they remind me, so even when those songs play randomly i call them to say hey… i am a music mess like that…

    Comment by insomniac — December 16, 2010 @ 10:48 am |Reply

  2. listening to musicals, especially Phantom always reminds me of you, our room and our trips to London :) i love you xx

    Comment by Nadia Abdelkhalek — February 16, 2011 @ 9:01 pm |Reply

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